“Ek cutting, pani kum!”

Till date, I had this misconception about Bihari men that they just know how to mentally harass an innocent girl like me, to discuss & finally start arguing about politics of India, to talk about dirty jokes & laugh like hyenas, proudly talk about the number of cows in their house & plots of land they bought on their last visit to their ‘gaun’(village), gossip about Sania Mirza and Rakhi Sawant, but let me tell you they also watch Football.

Remember Tabu in the film Kalapani? There is a scene in which she learns the dialogue of Mohanlal & tries to repeat it. If I am right, it was “An Indian’s back is not a Futtboll.” Whatever the word was in real, footboard or football, she was happy about learning English. Should I say more?

Oh! You have to see the way they say ‘Goal! Goal!’ The excitement on their face easily matches to that of an illiterate Bihari father’s, when his 35-year-old Munnu or Tinku or maybe Rinku has passed his matriculation after his 7th attempt, and that too by secretly blackmailing the invigilators in the examination hall. The excitement says that his son can now take over his milk supply business in village which has been running for long and which he has acquired from his father & his father from his grandfather and so on. He thinks his son can do better business, as he is well educated now.

My imagination is over flowing I guess. How mean of me. Right?

I have to accept that these people are really educated & they all have got degrees/M.B.A s in their CVs. They have got good schools and colleges in Bihar now. I am sure they have the caliber to run any business properly even if it is selling cow dung cakes or managing a poultry farm.

“Hello! How are you?”

“I am fine. How about you?”

“I am ok. How is business?”

My mind speaks- “Are you nuts man? You’re a childhood friend of my boss and you acting as if he doesn’t discuss the business with you? And that too when you keep visiting him everyday to bug him with his work.”

“Well, business is going good.”

“Are you busy? Chatting huh?”

My mind says-“No! I am just typing-I am Mad-1000 times to submit it to the Dubai mental hospital as an application letter to register my name for the enrollment this year.”

“No! Not really!”

Did I tell you that my boss is out of country; he has gone to Australia for 25 days. From the time he has left, the office is similar to a tea stall that you can find in streets or remote villages of India. But since we are in Dubai, and we need to keep up the standard of this city, they have laptops here to watch futtboll matches & to listen to Johnny Lever Jokes on smashits.com or whatever nonsense.

“Hi! How are you?”

“Hi! I am fine”

“So, busy?”

My mind- “Bloody hell! Will you just stop asking me the same question whenever to walk-in to my office?”

“No, tell me.”

“Too much pressure huh?”

My mind- “Don’t you know my boss is not here? Can’t you see my colleagues listening to songs on respective computers? Now stop asking too many questions, I know you are here to gossip & watch the futtboll match.”

“You think so?” (Losing temper)

And now I don’t need to specifically ask you guess the native land of this guy who is trying to test my patience and will soon be rewarded for his hard work.

Phew!