Is prayer a solution?
I have finally decided to move on in life leaving certain unforgettable truths behind. Yes, it is unforgettable and still I want to move on. I have learned it the hard way no doubt. Nothing really seems to help me out- Music, friends, the love of my would-be, my job, chat messengers, mirror, books. Nothing at all. I am at peace the most when I am alone. Thinking of nothing and sometimes murmuring something what I don’t know in my privacy. Tough time you know. Real struggle to catch up with the practical life.
Don’t know how many in the world would have faced the exceptional dilemma that I am facing or should I mention it in past tense? Ok! The exceptional dilemma that I had faced. Wish I could take some real good advices from them. Before anything it’s just that I have made up my mind and decided not to look back. But I do. Most of the time I get a real stiff neck turning back to look at my past. Now, I didn’t mean that literally. But it hurts more than words can explain. More than what I can to the maximum on this very blog of mine.
What is that I am doing? Why is it that nobody is trying to understand me? Why is that more than the situations putting me far alone in a corner, I myself don’t wish anything less than remaining so? A hell lot of questions. Hell! Bloody Hell! Bloody whatever but I can’t bloody get out of this.
“Darsh, why don’t you pray. Its gives a lot of peace of mind.”
Bloody Hell again! I don’t pray if nobody knows that clean fact about me. I don’t pray but please don’t ask me why. A hindu by birth. An ardent devotee of Lord Kirshna I was. I still remember word by word all kirtan that I used recite to praise the most powerful god in Hinduism (as I believed) Lord Krishna. I was also spirituous enough to feel the telepathic presence of Sri Sathya Sai Baba ever since he played a mysterious dream game with me when I was young, say it about 13 years old.
I don’t pray anymore. What made me a rebel (according to my mother & sisters) is something what I myself can’t figure out in the past 1 and half long years. I still wonder why I lost faith in God. I remember I always carried a trace of Lord Krishna with me-A ring on which the figure of Lord Krishna was engraved. Where is that ring now? I don’t really know. In other words, these sort of advices doesn’t really work with me.
Out of hell, but not in heaven. That describes it all.
posted by Bebo @ 4:47 pm
9 comments
9 Comments:
Sometimes when climbing the mountain we move enthusiallically and with purpose feeling the invigaration of the land height and wind you are alive. But there comes a time when you have to rest and recuperate take stock of things around you . Evaluate your progress and generally rebuild that enthusiam that you had at the start of your journey.
keep your eye on Baba he never lets go of your hand and is always watching over you.
sairam
Out of hell but not yet in heaven.... what's left is the journey called LIFE . U look back... u see hell.
U hv to move forward.... cover the journey...period. So.... its very very nice that u r looking forward. U dont really need to stiffen ur neck...let the past be where it is. U'll always feel its presence.... but u don't need to see it and feel low abt it.
And..... I m nt sure if its GOD... but smthing, some power is up there.... it has to be.
Keep smiling
TC
dachu,
PEACE of Mind. dts just what you want. if you dont have any thing for dt,then you must find out way till you get it. u never thought in ur past that u will have to face this situation. See where i am now??? do you know whats purpose of praying to God??? its just for peace of mind. its a kind of meditation. when you meditate, you actualy clean ur mind and get more strength. more you pray, without your knowldge you get dt confidenc or strength. You dont lose anything if you try it now. if you really dont get anything from dt ,then just forget it ................
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Sairam, I am still not against anything religious. But praying infront of idols, reciting kirtans all seem impossible for me now. I think Sai Baba has left me forever, otherwise I should not be feeling like this instead of feeling positive.
Adarsh, I take your words seriously and trust me it helps. But cant do anything about the pain in my neck.
Pastilles, I think your very correct about meditation. But prayer and meditation-I dont know.Grrrrrrr :-/
Lady Godiva, firstly you got a nice name (Suhani). Secondly, I haven't still got out of the situation as you think . Now I dont need to explain to you if your facing the same difficulties. Tough time. But I have stopped crying somehow and thats what I will want you to do FIRST! Crying followed by severe headaches does not help. All might ask you to forget and smile. But you and I know its not possible. So I wud sincerely advice- You dont really have to smile but please donot cry.
Thanks Darsh,
for replying. not crying almost seems impossible :-). m trying to give mysefl sometime, as the old adage goes..."time is the healer".
What made u to deviate from being a pious devotee...
well asking Q to know the root of the problem
There are moments when we dont get what we want.
But thats the beauty of life
If everything goes smoothly like a utopian world then
the charm of life will fade.
I learnt one thing which is tested and proved
as suggested by lady godiva
" TIME IS THE HEALER " - I salute the man who said these words
Hi Darsh,
I had to delete my previous comment, coz not many ppl in the office knows bout it. and i want to keep it that way.
-Suhani
U have converted ur blog into a world religion discourse forum :)
tension nahi lene ka mamu :)
Serious Intellectual Part:
Im supposed to be a devout sikh,but deep down inside I smile at the futility of following rituals such as kirtan & idol-worship.. maybe living truthfully & honestly is more then enough,, Maybe is one big word..
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