Can't find an appropriate title

For a week now I have been completely stunned of something really terrible that happened to me. I thought a lot. I wanted to think well before putting it on my blog because I wanted some time to decide if I should post it or learn to forget the matter and move on with other stuffs happening with me. But I made up my mind today. I am going to post it here. I want to share it with all who reads my blog. Let all my feelings- anger, disgust, self pity, hatred, sorrows, helplessness, pain, tears gush into my world of Non Sense.

Perhaps this is going to be the longest post in history of my blog.

It was in the month of November, 2005 that I shifted to my elder sister’s house which is also in Dubai. During the stay I & Jeeju became very close. He became a good friend & a brother I always wished for but never had in real life. We started talking on phone regularly. He was so encouraging that all of a sudden I started feeling more confident about myself. Those were the days of my life when I was not very close with my sisters or mom. I used to be busy with office & college all day (9.30 am to 10.00 pm ). I never used get time to talk to mum or sisters. And then I felt comfortable with my jeeju who used to keep a check on me all day when mom was not really bothered at all. I was very happy to find a loving & caring brother in Jeeju.

On the other side, it was the most wonderful days of my life with Rehan. We used to meet up regularly and used to have a lot of fun. One day I was on my way to college with Rehan when jeeju caught us together. He was so very upset that day that his voice trembling when he was talking to me. He caught me by hand and put me in car and we moved to his office which was in Sheik Zayed Road (quiet far from my college). While in the car I was very shocked & couldn’t utter a word. But he told me about how he got anonymous messeges on his mobile phone about me and Rehan. He showed me all the long messages he got on his cell, which was quiet vulgar and about the things that me and Rehan did in our privacy. I felt ashamed & cried like hell. I could not look in his eyes out of guilt.

At his office he questioned me all vulgar things that I never ever wanted to answer especially to a person who was a like a brother to me. I was sincere & didn’t lie on anything that he asked. But he did not believe my words. Finally, I swore on my dad who is no more on this earth and also on jeeju keeping my right hand on his head. Did everything to prove that our (Rehan’s & mine) love was so pure that we gave no importance for physical pleasure in our entire love period. Though we got hundred of chances privately for doing anything we wanted we have always utilized it sharing our thoughts, fights, kissing, hugging and telling each other how much we love. Neither I ever thought of sex with him nor he ever asked for it. We were so very lost in our own world of love that we never bothered about such big matters. In fact, it is still a big matter to both of us. Or maybe the other reason I mentioned love making as ‘sex’ is because we both thought ‘sex’ to be ‘sex’ and not really love making.

Back to topic, so the type of situation I was in those days I used to feel so guilty of the fact that my Jeeju had come to know about my love affair & he has even known my private matters with Rehan too. I used cry and cry those days. For a month (June) I & Jeeju kept on investigating on the anonymous person who was harassing me with threatening messages. It even said once that I should not get married to any guy or else the next sms would be send to my eldest brother in law’s mobile. This killed me even more because he is so elderly in our family that I never joke around with him or even talk to him unnecessarily. I hate to think of those days I spent without sleeping but only crying all day all night. Whenever I saw Jeeju’s names appearing on my cell I used to sweat thinking of what the next sms has informed him about me.

One day I and jeeju spoke on phone for so long that we decided we should find out the anonymous person. He said he spoke to some laywer whom he knew about the same. The lawyer said that the person who is sending anonymous sms would be caught on spot and given heavy punishment because harassing women is big crime in Dubai. We thought it to be one of the many guys who tried to propose me at college and whom I rejected on the first go. Not only did I reject but I never gave a shit for the guys of my college ever since that because every guy who came up boldly to talk me always ended with a love proposal. I hate them & I never bothered to even give them a glance. We thought they were angry with me because of my attitude. We thought it to be one of them who felt jealous of me and Rehan and wanted my jeeju to know of all these matters so that everything comes to an end. Then my thoughts diverted to my ex-boyfriends, two of them who were not in touch with me after the break up but then I could not stop doubting them. I somehow got the details of my ex to inform my Jeeju.

One night I bunked college and left to spy on this ex of mine along with my Jeeju in his car. He was so concerned of me that he wanted me to eat something and forced on some roasted cashew nuts. That very moment I relaxed on seeing the never ending care and love my Jeeju had for me. I felt never mind what happens but this man is going to be there for me always just like the elder brother I always wished for. We parked the car little far from my ex’s office watched him for 1 and ½ hour just to see him lock the office get into a cab and leave the place. I kept on trying on the anonymous number which was switched off all that time.

Another day I came up with this so that I could help myself out of the mess and worries I faced. Can’t forget the days I cried so much that everyday I had severe head aches. Jeeju as always so caring always came down to my office to check on me and console me not to cry and spoil my day for some bastard who is sending him anonymous messages. I told him about the confidential Government Department built mainly for the well being of expatriates in Dubai especially women. He said he enquired about the same but found that it is not worth anything because they only fine the anon with some huge amount and then leave the person after some Police questioning. I desperately wanted to complain about the anonymous person who spoiled my life literally, who made me cry and cry, who made me ashamed and guilty to even look into my Jeeju’s eyes. Thanks to my jeeju who never thought of informing the matter at home especially with mum.


With every day passing by I used to get worried on what the matter would be on the next sms from the anon bastard. So very tensed I was guys that I cannot explain even today. I hate to think of it. Once jeeju met Rehan and solved the issue. Like a good boy my Rehan stopped meeting me. I forced him for days and finally he agreed to meet up again. One more thing is that Rehan couldnt really do anything to find out the bastard who was playing games with his bebo’s life. Whether he was under shock or was tensed like me or whether he had other things in mind I never really knew. But he never could help me out expect stopping me from meeting him which was like killing me. I did not have the guts to share it with any of my friends because Jeeju & Rehan thought it could be even my friends who had secret crushes on me.

Slowly the messages stopped coming. The anonymous number remained switched off all time & forever. Jeeju came with a marriage proposal. The guy was Jeeju’s best friend’s younger brother, also a distant relative. Then the later matters I guess you all must be aware of since I have mentioned all that in here in various posts.

It was last Tuesday when I was calling up all my friends in the contact list of my mobile, I came across the anonymous number. A second’s thought I grasped my colleague’s mobile who was sitting next to me and dialed the number. To my surprise it rang and HE picked- the anonymous bastard. He picked but I could not recognize his voice. I let my colleague talk and listened carefully to that anonymous voice. I found out. Yes! I found out it was him-My loving caring Jeeju!

Guys I was cheated literally fooled by a person whom I thought to be a caring brother, a friend, a support, a motivation, the only figure who understood my feelings in my family. I was cheated and no other person on earth can cheat me to this extent for sure. I have got every proof that he is using that anonymous number at the moment. I will keep posting about it.

I still have not got out of the shock. Can’t believe I let someone screw my life just like 1, 2 & 3. What have I done to myself? Sheesh!

I will definitely update with the other dramas that he came up with after this incident. One more thing, he stills doesn’t know that I have caught his dirty game.

Friends, what do you think is the right name I should address him as in my next posts? Please suggest. Also what do you all think is the real motive behind this game-his dirty game?