Bebo will never cry!

Before I start my nonsense, I would want you to go through this. Not for the complete of poem but the last line. Sunshine, that's beautiful.

“Smile Bebo! Say Eeeeee!”

That doesn’t make sense to a person struggling with two minds at the moment. I wont blame a single living creature on earth for this. I am the one responsible for all the turns I take in my life. Had to choose between right & left.

My heart said ‘take right you will never be sad in life’
My mind said ‘take left he will never be sad in life’

I took left and I will always be happy for I want him to be happy. Love is so selfish isn’t it? It just makes you so cold hearted that you wont mind being cruel to yourself even if it means keeping the one you love happy. There were occasions when we spoke about the difficulties we would face if we were not together in life. Hands on my heart, I could only see love for me in his eyes. He is helplessly tied up. Mother’s love is immeasurable. Isn’t it? If I cannot read his mind, then I never loved him. If I cannot understand his weakness I never loved him. If I cannot understand his mother’s love then I can never be a good mother. Frankly, I would never want to come between them, never would want to be a reason for a slight decrease in their love for each other.

I feel lost most of the time. I accept I can understand him more than anyone else, but do I understand myself? Am I realizing what I am doing to myself? Am I thinking of how I am going to face certain things in future? Honestly, I am not. I am not thinking of anything at the present situation. Good or bad I really don’t know.

I have always found people complimenting me for instance

“I need to learn from you” “You are really strong” “Very mature for your age” “I appreciate your analyzing ability”(one of the best I have got)

I felt good, but never believed their words. At this moment, I realize I am strong. But then why do I cry? Why does this strong Bebo cry? For the past few weeks, I have cried so much that now I am used to the headaches followed by it. After all he wanted me to take care of my eyes, which gets dry whenever I stress a lot looking at the pc screen. I make sure that it is moisturized ever 5 minutes.

I will cry once again, once again in his arms and maybe never again. I want to be a strong & independent lady who will never wait for others advice but will have people waiting for her advice. That’s his dream and probably my only hope left in life to move on. When I achieve this I will be his forever. As far as happiness, my smile, the extraordinary dimple on my right cheek that no one but only he has discovered is concerned, I regret but I cannot assure. I am not myself, if I am not your Bebo.

"In memory of the beautiful life you & I once shared."