Wake Up Bebo!

There are two folders named ‘Wake up Bebo!’- One in my mobile phone and the other in my mailbox. Well, the name itself must be giving you a clue about the content of the folder. Someone wants Bebo to wake up from a long, lazy sleep. A few important tasks which Rehan wanted me to do in life. No! No! Just a nick for him. We saw the movie ‘Fanaa’ together and whenever I am too much in love, I used to call him that name. Don’t tell anyone, but sometimes he is Krissh too.

There must hardly 4 recruitment agencies / multinational/ semi-government companies in the whole of Dubai where you won’t find my CV. The folders contain the details of the websites where I had applied for openings, mails, confirmations, job search advices etc. I was on a full swing to fulfill all what Rehan wanted me to do for leading a better & independent (most important) life. I was all set to join one of the best driving institutes of Dubai for my license. Apart from these two main things, I had lot more small ones on the list. These folders always reminded me his words “Bebo, how many times I have told you to start looking for a better job” “Sweeto, you are joining Belhasa Driving institute this Saturday. That is it.”

For the past 2 weeks I haven’t even touched the newspapers, forget about going through the situation vacant column. Neither am I updating my CV on the websites. Getting engaged is really a good feeling, but now it seems like an obstacle to me in fulfilling his (even my) wishes. I am very confused most of the time. Feel like I am in middle of nowhere. At the same time I feel that I am secure because there is someone new in life to take care of my needs. Indeed it was the only thought I had on mind when I agreed for the proposal.

Sometimes, I think entirely different about him, which was one other reason for taking a quick decision strongly considering 'say-no-to-heart' principle. I feel guilty to say but I do feel some kind of hatred ness towards him at times. Feel like cursing myself for falling in love with him. These made me think of the other side of life, to be little selfish about myself, my family’s status among other relatives. Thought that I should not worry about a person who is self-centered and wants his family to be happy even if it means making me cry for what I should not be. Again, these are only momentary thoughts. Eventually, only I can understand him and his love for me. And I know nothing can compensate love.

I SERIOUSLY NEED TO JOIN THE ‘Art of Living’ CLASSES! What do u say?